dear heart.

todays a good day, i dont feel broken or hurt or think about you or even want to slap anybody.

all i can think about is how whimsicle and loopy she is, she makes me flutter, she gives my day music to dance to. she isn't anybody at all.

i cant find anybody that i could exactly tell my every thought to yet, the weird, doesn't-make-sense-but-makes-sense things. the deepest closest to my heart feelings.

i have that person, that gives me gives me enough to let him crawl that close to who i really am. but deep down i dont trust him, i dont trust me. i just have a wall that nobody, not even you, can completely demolish.

everybodys just a piece of something with a chip on the side that fits perfectly into somebody else chip. when that other persons chip fits so perfectly into yours and everything is perfect, you start to over think. you start to rip tiny pieces away from your own chip, moulding little chunks, just to be a fraction of their perfection. eventually when you try to fit your chip perfectly back into theirs in a comforting way, it just doesnt fit anymore. you tore away from something perfect cause you couldn't be satisfied or accept that you could have the perfect chip to fit theirs.

there i go again, ruining a good day with the voices in my head.