The good ones.

They say that its your heart thats suppose to be broken or hurt but i feel like my whole body is broken. It aches and i cant make it stop. My heart is pounding so hard that i cant think straight, every shiver makes me well up again. I have this deep pulling sensation on my chest and i cant breathe. Im choking on my tears.

I've always knew, yet today i decided to admit it to myself. Im probably growing up right? Everybody lies, everybody hurts you. Why did i even think that there was a slight possibility that he was even a tad different?

Its over.

NO WOW.

i feel alone. all alone in the mesh of us.

 i know i shouldn't but you just don't give me enough. you say you're giving me all of you and i guess i just don't believe you. you probably shouldn't anyway. i'll take and take from you trying to make you more mine but like everything else, i'll fuck this up. i want too much, even if i don't give any of me back to you.

 i always end up breaking you down, making you feel worthless. i won't allow myself to feel any hurt so i make you the object of all my attention.

 i obsess. it eats at me, tearing away bits of whatever i have left inside. i try to talk to anyone but just lie again. they don't care. they ask, they pretend to listen, they're all just here around me but don't even know me. so i build my walls. indestructable barriers. you think that i let you in, a little maybe. but you're wrong. i didn't let you in, nobody ever really knows everything. sure you know snippits but i don't let you completely in. you'll just hurt me, then leave.

so i won't give you anything to take with you when you go. 

last day of magic.

I have a burning desire to sink my teeth into something dangerous. Go out on a limb and dive into black atmosphere.

Meddle with destiny and tamper with time. Chase the road until i reach the edge of the earth. Drink the sky and exhale heaven.

I want to avoid caution and welcome carelessness with open arms. Break the chains of obedience and submerge myself into rebellion. Anticipation pulses in my fingertips.

Waiting - Wanting - Watching.

I'll step into the fiery lights of jeopardy and grin in the face of fate.