backstage sluts double drop.

im getting giddy thinking about this weekend, its spring tide. party on the beach, camps bay. i made my own high waisted denim shorts out of moms old jeans from the sixties. they look cool. everybody around me - as in my friends, not the rest of these screwballs- are so pretty. not that im shallow or superficial, im just happy they're all so stunning.

im in a happy mood today. im bunking my life skills class, it's pathetic anyway.

ross is coming by after school and we had a cryptic heart-to-heart last night so i want to talk to him. its easy to talk to him. i just say everything and anything.

even the thinhgs i don't admit to myself.

i just want to put on something other than this hideous flowery dress, indulge in something alcoholic, talk and laugh and be with my friends. oh and a dunhill would be swell. a whole box would actually be a slap-up.

xx



Phantom limb.

I feel like im screaming. Im screaming so loud but you're not listening. None of you are. Maybe you just don't hear me, maybe you don't want to hear, maybe im chaffy.

I can't anymore, i can't keep on trying when i know its all just in vain.

These thoughts keep swimming around my head, i want them to get out, to go away and let me be happy.

Let me be oblivious to whats dragging me down. Down to where i don't want to be. Where i really won't have anybody but myself cause really? Who wants to be dispirited and gloomy, rock bottom with anybody when you can be towering and intoxicated on life with somebody else. If i had you, i wouldn't ever be melancholic.

Around you im all giddy and rhapsodical , so listening to me. Hear me. I just want to talk. No more screaming. Lets just be us together.