This abuse feels like home.

The past weekend's been very busy, eventful, fun even. Actually shockingly lurid.

The mexican kitchen was, well thinking about it now makes me want to go back and just eat all their food. Rafiki's was well everybody knows how that is. Fun. And then marissa and i went to claremont. Tanta and tin roof was unhinged.

Needless to say i was intoxicated for most of my weekend as usual. I might just have a little situation on my hand.

I think that ross did a few demented things this weekend, like intentional alcohol poisoning to see if i'd care enough to tell him to stop before he jumped off a really high balcony. But, it was stupid. So i just told him to be less of a nitwitted bonehead. One i actually care enough about to stick around for.

I always moan, and talk about him. But i guess this is why i started this. To aimlessly babble about the bullshit nobody else wants to hear about all the time. Sometimes i can't verbalize any of this anyway and when i sit and write it just comes naturally. This will be my place to come and be elated and euphoric or wistful and deplorable. This will be my kitschy place.



I can't give it up, to someone else's touch-because i care to much.

No more hanging around, being able to do anything you want, anytime. Holiday - over. C'est tres deprement!!!

I've had quite a swell time the past couple of days. I went to my brother on wednesday, boys' varsity res's are cool. Well when they walk into rooms with towels flashing abs. Thursday with bronwin, my rather older sister was the best. She makes me happy, well atleast now that i don't live with her. I guess time together makes us fight.

Megan got her own car, so she took nicola and i up to signal hill, that pathetic excuse for a hike killed me, it was probably only like a 100m. We decided that smoking a J up there would be fit. We drove around town, bought some 6packs, picked up ross and got drinking. We were quite tiddly before 12pm no wait was it 2? I dont know, inebriated nonetheless. It was quite a successful afternoon. We probably should have stopped there cause we all had major downer's after that.

The rest of the weekend was decent, well more than that. Ross and i blew up an air-o-space mattress, threw it into the pool. We caught some really award winning tans. Im falling in love all over again, cliche or not i don't care. I can't remember what i did when i didn't know him. Smitten once again, not that i ever wasn't.

Lifes good, for now. Im happy. And him, his just toying with my mind. Giving me options didn't make me think about him, it just drove me back to what i knew i wanted. I don't want him, i don't even fancy him a tiny bit. When you've been with somebody that makes your entire world seem like a big playground or make you exceedingly happy , you can't go back to mediocrity. Chaste, plain, featureless, you.